Little Sprouts

I want to let you know that this afternoon I misscarried. My doctor was contacted and I was told it was a complete miscarriage and no surgery was needed. It happened naturally at home with my family.

While my heart grieves I know that God’s will prevailed. Even though my heart’s desire was to have this baby, God knew the outcome before we did.

Our baby is now with the Lord. I rejoice that one day I will be reunited with my two babies. One first one I lost on July 1, 1997 and this one I lost today July 3, 2008.  My eyes are filled with tears and my heart feels empty inside. I cannot ask God why. I am not angry at Him or anyone.

God answered our prayers when we asked for whatever happens to be His Will. It may not be the answer I wanted in my heart but I accept His will.

I am resting at home and taking Tylenol for the pain. Tim has been very supported. He is grieving also. My oldest son Michael understands what has happened and he has been near me all afternoon, hugging me and telling me he loves me.

Right now, I am a “jumble of emotions” but I wanted to let you all how much your thoughts and prayers have been a great help to us.” Jesus is holding me up through this and I give all the glory to Him.

Thank you Jesus for blessing me with my family and friends and the wonderful people here. Thank you Lord for my little one. May I be reunited with my baby in heaven one day…

I can only take peace in knowing that my little one is with Christ now and that someday when we will be reunited. I am thankful for God carrying me, I really feel his mercy and grace over me.

As many of you here know  I have gone through some trials this during the last several months in my marriage and family that has re-affirmed my faith and had drawn me closer to God. 

I think yesterday was the toughest day for me. It marked the 11th year anniversary of the loss of my 1st baby (which was a M/C at 12 weeks). I had a miscarriage on July 1st, 1997. I was not strong in faith then and not close to God that months later after that experience I was still in a deep depression.

Since that time, my walk with Christ has deepen and I have grown so much in my relationship with God. I know that I must rejoice and praise Him in my storm!

God carried me through a terrible time during the holidays and I know He will carry me through this. I am not a strong woman and mother alone, but it is through Christ that He strengthens me and renews my Faith and Love in Him.

I have a two friends that homeschool. One lost her preemie son at age 8 months after a long battle in the NICU. The other lost her 3 year old daughter 2 months ago. Both were saddened by their loss but have been comforted by Christ. In reading their blogs, I can see the faith they have and the love they have for God.  They are an inspiration to me.

Whether God saves my baby (which I am claiming) or takes my baby to be in heaven, I am still blessed for the life I shared with my baby. I thank Jesus for that. I feel blessed….

I can’t describe any other way what it means…

yes, I cry and yes it hurts but God is with me and He loves me. It is He who lifts me up and carries me… it is a testimony to Him…

We did not get to see the doctor until after 1 PM. They were backed up. She did a vaginal sono and believes that she does not see any growth since last week. I told her I have no spotting or bleeding and I feel fine.

She did some labs and they ran a test on my blood clotting factor. We get the results next week. For now, I am to go home and let her know if I have cramping, or severe bleeding.

I have faith and I am staying steadfast to God and that His will has not been decided yet. I spoke with my sister and she told me that Faith is being convinced of the truth, being certain of reality, having evidence of unseen things, and believing, hoping in, embracing, seizing the truth.

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

Luke 17:5 (NIV) The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”

My doctor is going by what she sees and I am going by what it is unseen. I still have my baby in my womb and in my heart that is grace from God. I do not feel any signs that tell me otherwise. I am letting you know that if I see signs/symptoms I will go to the hospital but for now I am feeling fine. My faith is holding me up.

I still praise God for this little life and ask for His continued Love, Strength, Grace and Mercy…

Do not give hope because I am not…
I have accepted that God’s will be revealed to me in time…

I thank you all from my heart for being here for me…
I feel your love and strength and your prayers are helping me.

Love, Sandra
Here is what I am reading on Faith.
http://www.acts17-11.com/faith.html
http://www.cortright.org/belhope.htm

My OB’s office called today (Monday June 30th) to tell me they are moving up my appt for 10:40 AM because my doctor has a hand therapy appt. for herself that afternoon. I told them it was fine with me so that I can see her sooner.

Timothy and the boys are going with me to my appt tomorrow. Tonight, we will have family prayer and ask the Lord for his continued blessing with my pregnancy.

I have been feeling fine, showing no spotting or bleeding or cramping. I have alot of faith and I know in my heart that God has answered our prayers.

Lordwilling, I will have a praise report to share with you all tomorrow. God bless!

I got home about an hour ago. There were 19 women there. We sang, had prayer, bible study and fellowship. They prayed on me and the baby.

I was uplifted in spirit there. My sister Diane was there and her four daughters. I heard testimonies of women who had overcome cancer, an etopic pregnancy and healing of marriages. I have faith in God and I am at peace. God has taken away my fears and replaced with love, peace and hope.

I learned that God has the ultimate say in this and I am placing my faith in His.

I saw my OB/GYN today. She gave me the results of the HCG levels drawn on Wednesday June 18th and Friday June 20th.

She was not pleased with the levels. On Wednesday, June 18th they were 540 and on Friday June 20th it dropped to 516. She said it is her opinion that the pregnancy may have halted. She did a sono and it is meauring about one inch.

She offered me two options: a D&C or wait for it to happen naturally. I choose the latter. I am to see her next Wednesday July 1st at 1 PM. I cried in her arms and she held me. She delivered Matthew and I really admire her as a friend and doctor.

I called my sister Diane and we prayed for what happens for it to be God’s will. I am placing it in God’s hands and telling God that my heart’s desire is to have this baby. I am praying for miracle. I went through this with Matthew and I have faith in my Lord. If things do not go as planned, I will accept it and not be angry with God.

I have read other women have gone through this with lower levels and continue with a healthy pregnancy so I am claiming that as a testimony to God’s love and power.

I love God and I have to believe there is a purpose in this.
Please continue to keep me and the baby and family in in prayer.

Thank you for thinking of me… you all are family to me.

I am going to a women’s bible group study and prayer this evening at 7 PM with my sister and niece. I need this. Timothy is staying at home with the boys. He is taking hard but holding on to faith as well.

I told Timothy and he cried, He held me and we prayed together on this. I am hoping and praying that things will work out. I want this baby with all my heart.

We decided not tell Michael anything until we know for sure what will happen.

For now, I am home with my boys and Tim went to donate Blood plasma to get gas money for me to attend the women’s bible/prayer meeting.

Most of you all remember the drama I went through during the early part of my pregancy with Matthew… (the pregnancy hormone levels not increasing like they should) I was in the hospital for 8 days when I was about 4 weeks pregnant.

Well, I had a sono on Wednesday June 18th and the baby is measuring small (about 5 weeks) they had me figured at 8 weeks. My ob/gyn ordered a HCG beta quantative blood test for Wednesday (which was drawn) and another one for Friday (tomorrow). I see her Tuesday June 24th at 9 AM for the results and another sono to measure the baby. I’m nervous and praying that everything will be okay.

Tim thinks my due date is off and that that is why the baby is measuring smaller, I think he maybe right.

Please keep me and the baby in prayer.

We told my Dad on Father’s day about the baby and he was overjoyed. My mom knew beforehand and wanted us to wait to tell my Dad. This will be their 17th grandchild. He and my mom have 8 great grandchildren. My Dad is 76 and my mom is 72.

I saw my Ob/Gyn Wednesday May 28th. I am at 5 weeks and 1 day. It still had not hit me because I was thinking it could be a false positive. I was sure I was going through early menopause since my cycles had been going from 28 days to 48 days and then 32 days for the last several months. She says, no Sandra. You’re definitely expecting! I was right on the due date of Jan. 26, 2009.

NO VBAC, I am not a good candidate for it. Oh well.. I wanted once to have a vaginal delivery in my life…

So while most of my friends my age are having grandbabies, here I am having another baby.

Our baby at 5 weeks

For a girl: Makaylah Elise

Now comes the hard part picking a boy’s name.
I would like an Irish name like Miles or Madden
and Tim is set on this name:

Marcus Maximus

Help! Marcus could grow on me but I hate the middle name.

We started our new homeschool year in April and just finished our first six weeks so I am recording Michael’s grades in my excell chart.

Matthew is growing by leaps and bounds. He weighs 35 pounds and is almost 3 feet tall.

If you have not heard we are expecting Baby #3.  It was a shock to us.  I am 43 years young.
I told my mom, one of my sisters and friends. I get mixed reviews but I know that they care about me and my family. I have to have faith that God will carry me through this as He has in my life before.

I’m feeling fine and will be seeing my OB/GYN this week.
My blood sugars are fine and I am on insulin. Keep me in prayer that my body at age 43 can handle it…

Thanks…